The Naked Truth

At first this topic had my mind atwitter; I mean how often does a girl get to write about naked men outside of her bedroom? Not that I believe there’s anything particularly aesthetically pleasing about the male physique below the happy/snail/treasure trail; maybe I’m a sucker for a nice bum, but that’s not what we’re here to discuss. Nor do I spend my private time writing about nude male bodies, and even if I did, you couldn’t prove it.

Given the opportunity to pick famous men I wouldn’t mind seeing naked, I would say: Channing Tatum? Yes, please. Donald Glover? Abso-freaking-lutely. Joseph Gordon Levitt? Please and thank you. John Cho-know-I-would. And, for our older crowd, I’d appreciate a little Benjamin Bratt (pun absolutely intended). Though, discussing this with a colleague, I’ve concluded that while I would enjoy seeing Tatum in the buff under any circumstance, I’d rather see JGL in the sensual privacy of my own home.


Large Sleeping Satyr ("Barberinischer Faun"), c. 220 BCE
Marble, height: 215 cm.
Glyptothek, Munich.

The longer I thought about the topic though (we’re talking at least a week of reviewing male nudes here, nothing but the best research for our readers), the more confused I became. We live in a society that fawns over the nude female body – heck, I’ve even blogged about it – but what about the male body? In film, art, television, and billboards, exposed female curves are everywhere, whether in bits and pieces or full on (to the point in which we need to discuss body image with our sisters/daughters/nieces). We’ve all seen Basic Instinct. However, the double standard remains. Is it because men find other male bodies threatening or uncomfortable? Is it the absurd fear of “catching” homosexuality, as if that were even possible? Women make up half of the consumer market – can’t you try and lure us in with the promise of naked men?


Ginch Gonch, Boys and Toy Bikes, advertising campaign.

I’ve always had the pleasure, or displeasure depending on how you look at it, of male housemates, including growing up with a brother. They were able to openly walk around without shirts and in their underwear, whilst I was discomfited into wearing a bra in my own home. Ladies, help me out, isn’t the most amazing time of day those five seconds after you’ve finally removed your bra? I’ve actually gone so far as to say, “Sorry friend, I can’t come out tonight; I’ve already taken my bra off.” My point being, this is a society that tells women to remain covered or they’ll be slut shamed, but men can wear next to nothing as long as their junk is covered.


Andrew Christian, 9215 Gigolo Thong, Black.

Women shouldn’t be ashamed of their bodies or shy about them, and men, get over your ridiculous fear of other naked men. We’re all beautiful, robed or not, and nudity shouldn’t be a topic of exploitation. We’re born nude, why can’t we stay so? Hurry over to the Leopold Museum to see the nude men exhibition through 4 March. Not possible? Rather look at the goods in private? Get your hands on The Story of Men’s Underwear by Shaun Cole or Nudes by Jp. A. Calosse. You won’t be disappointed.

-Le Lorrain Andrews

Leonardo da Vinci: Jack of Everything

I could make another reference to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and discuss how, both Leonardo the man and the turtle are the eldest, wisest, and most level-headed of their pairings; however, part of that would be false (Donatello [the sculptor] was older by 66 years) and I’d have no way of proving the rest.

Jack of all trades, master of… all trades. Leonardo da Vinci was a painter, sculptor, architect, musician, scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, geologist, cartographer, botanist, and writer. His friends described him to have extraordinary powers of invention, incredible strength and generosity, boundless grace, an infinite mind, a majestic spirit, and in addition to all of that, he was quite the looker. In his time, a person of such vast skill and personality was considered to be a polymath and amassed many friends. In our time, Da Vinci would likely be thought a gross over-achieving, suck-up nerd and I doubt anyone would go near him.

Leonardo of all trades probably would have been a better turn of phrase, though, not that he needs any more credit.

Lesser known for his ground-breaking understanding of the human body, Da Vinci found interest in dissecting not only human corpses, but also cows, birds, monkeys, bears, frogs, and horses. Over the years Da Vinci found himself particularly apt at recognising illness as well as a being’s emotions – rage being a specialty.


Leonardo da Vinci, Recto: The superficial anatomy of the shoulder and neck. Verso: The muscles of the shoulder, c. 1510-1511.
Pen and ink with wash over black chalk, 29.2 x 19.8 cm.
The Royal Collection.


Leonardo da Vinci, The cardiovascular system and principal organs of a woman, c. 1509-1510.
Black and red chalk, ink, yellow wash, finely pricked through, 46.7 x 33.2 cm.
The Royal Collection.

Pop over to The Queen's Gallery in Buckingham Palace for a crash course on anatomy at the Leonardo da Vinci: Anatomist exhibition. Realise that Da Vinci is much more than the human body? Bring him home with you in either print or digital form: Leonardo da Vinci: Artist, Thinker, Man of Science or Leonardo da Vinci.

-Le Lorrain Andrews